No Fellowship? No Problem!

You will never truly appreciate or benefit from fellowship until you have learned how to live without it.

There already is a fellowship of saints. It is a spiritual fellowship, and it is based on Christ having the preeminence – not the fellowship having preeminence. All this yearning for fellowship and being with others is the result of being hung-over from the religious system. You’re trying to fill a void that religion used to fill.

The purpose of solitude in the spiritual desert is to get you to see that Jesus is Enough. You’re not going to die from lack of fellowship, but if you don’t learn that Jesus is Enough then spiritually speaking you’re dead already. He’s the One you need to be focused on – not starting a fellowship, not finding a home group, not making something happen with other people.

And already I can hear the “yeah buts”. “Yeah, but God made us to be social beings. Yeah, but God knows we need encouragement from other believers. Yeah, but the Bible says forsake not the assembling of yourselves together as the manner of some is. Yeah, but we’re all supposed to be part of the Body of Christ. Yeah, but there’s just something about gathering together with like-minded believers. Yeah, but you just don’t understand what it’s like.” Yeah, but I do understand – I’ve been through that part of the desert before, and what I’m trying to tell you is God wishes to know if you love Him or if you love fellowship with others. God wishes to know if you are in love with Him or if you are in love with things about Him. God wishes to know if you seek Him or seek a meeting about Him.

There are times and seasons where He calls you to be alone and apart with Him. I’m not saying it will always be like that, but what if it is? What if He calls you to walk alone with Him for the rest of your life? Is Jesus enough for you?

I asked that question of a group of Christians once: is Jesus enough for you? Because most Christians do not believe this. They want Jesus, but they also want fellowship with others. Really, do you know what Christians want? Not fellowship with others. That sounds so spiritual. Really what they want is acceptance from other Christians. You go deep down and that’s what they want. They want to feel accepted by other Christians. Well, all I can tell you is that you’re setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. Eventually there will come a time when you will have to decide between the truth that God has revealed to you and the acceptance of other Christians. Now it hurts when you are not accepted by other Christians. It hurts when other Christians misunderstand you and speak all manner of evil against you falsely when you have spoken the truth to them in love.

But the bottom line is your spiritual life and walk with God does not depend upon the acceptance of other Christians. You might think it does, and it sure makes things easier, but it is not a condition of following Christ – making sure other Christians understand and accept you. The deeper you go into God the more unacceptable you will be to other Christians. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is Himself, “Despised and rejected, a Man of Sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” Jesus would not be, and is not, accepted by most Christians, and do you know that does not change Him and His relationship with His Father? He is Lord whether you accept Him or not, my friend. And if you are His disciple then He accepts you whether the rest of the Christian population accepts you or not.

What I have found is that whenever I ignore the season God has me in, and I try to create fellowship, or seek fellowship, outside of the time and place appointed by My Father, it always ends in disaster. It creates problems, it becomes a disappointment, or it turns into a distraction from what He wants for my life.

And that is never more true than the period of time when you are fresh out of the religious system. You’ve been under a religious spirit for so many years, and don’t think you can just wake up one day, stop going to church, and be set free from that religious mindset. You think you need fellowship, you think you need meetings, you think you need other people in your life, you think you need all these things, and you are in error. That’s the religious habit talking. It’s just like a drug.

“Oh brother Chip, I’m so lonely, I’ve been going to church every Sunday for twenty years and now we just sit home on Sunday and we feel so empty inside!” Well praise God, if that’s where God has you right now then thank God for it. Stop looking for other people to fill a void that only Christ can fill. You’ve been covering up that void with a lot of religious junk and He’s stripping all that away. He’s trying to build something in you, so let Him do it according to the times and seasons that He has appointed. Don’t rush through that process. Get comfortable with just you and God. My goodness, you don’t even know what it’s like to walk with God and just be hidden in Him because your whole life you’ve been following Him in a crowd, worshipping Him in a crowd, praying to Him in a crowd, learning about Him in a crowd.

Enoch walked with God, and he didn’t have anyone else to fellowship with.

Noah walked with God and he didn’t anyone but his family.

Abraham walked with God and he didn’t have a house church to go to.

Moses spent forty years in the desert and it didn’t hurt him a bit, he came out better than he went in.

Jesus walked with God and every single one of His friends and disciples denied Him and fled when He needed them the most.

You give people too much credit for your spiritual well-being and don’t give God enough credit. I’d rather be alone with God than have a crowd of people without Him.

Now that doesn’t diminish anything the Bible says about the Body of Christ. But you’ve got to learn how to get connected to the Head before you try to get connected to the Body. Body Life is only as good as the Body’s relationship to the Head. The Body has no life in itself apart from the Head. If you read what the Bible says about the Body of Christ, you notice it doesn’t say that we are supposed to seek out our place in the Body or try to insert ourselves into place. It says He sets us in the Body of Christ according to His will. His will, not ours. You try to set yourself in place and you’ll get it wrong.

The Bible does not say “hold fast to the Body” or “hold fast to the members of the Body”, it says “hold fast to the Head.” The Bible does not say, “Seek ye first the fellowship of others”, but “seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and all these things – including fellowship – will be added to you.” You learn to do that and the rest will take care of itself, in the time and manner that God sees fit.

Take your hands off that whole issue of fellowship and cast that concern onto the Lord. Go to Him and say, “Lord, here I am in a desert place, it’s dry, and it’s lonely, and it looks like there’s no fellowship. But You are My Rock, My Fortress, My Hiding Place, You lead me and direct my steps. You be My Fellowship. If you see fit to bring me into relationship and fellowship with others, fine; but if not, then I trust that You are more than Enough to meet my spiritual, emotional, and social needs. I can live without fellowship Lord, but I cannot live without You!”

Now folks, I have been in that place so many times I don’t even have to pray about it anymore. I’ve just learned to trust God in this area, and I know He is sufficient. It’s settled in me. It’s not even a thing I pray about anymore. I want it to become settled in your heart as well. Let the desert do its work.

About the Author

Chip BrogdenAuthor, teacher, and former pastor, Chip and his wife Karla came out of the church in 1999 to serve those who are following Jesus outside of Organized Religion. Today, The School of Christ reaches more than 135 nations with a simple, consistent, and Christ-centered message. Find out more.

  1. Alan JacobsonAlan Jacobson04-19-2009

    Hi Chip, Do you have t-shirts with The School of Christ or your insignia on them? It would be a great idea. Thanks for the articles. God Bless, Alan

  2. jeffjeff04-19-2009

    Exactly what I’m going through right now. Thankyou for your insight and help.

  3. RobertRobert04-19-2009

    What you have said here is so true. Many years ago the Lord took my family out of church. We left organized church and then fell into what seemed like disorientation—what was happening and what do we do now? Daily and I do mean daily, as we questioned and even argued somewhat with the Lord, He answered all our questions. Then he opened our eyes to “his” perspective on what is happening in the church system today. During the season when we were whining and complaining about being “out of church”, the Lord said to me one day, “What are you going to do when I send you out and you are the church?!” Today I can say so thankfully that these years ALONE with the Lord have been such a special blessing and NO “church” system and all the friendship/fellowship of thousands of people could ever compete. YES, the Lord is enough and all that matters. Getting “man” out of the way opened up the opportunity for the Lord to set us apart and teach us directly. I could never go back to that system, even the most evangelical of it–unless the Lord directly sent me in for His purposes and anointed me for it. We feel very grateful to know that YES, Jesus is indeed enough and the Holy Spirit is an awesome teacher!!

  4. TrenetTrenet04-19-2009

    Thanks for the encouragement. This article reaffirms how I know God to be leading me, at least in this present season (which has lasted seven years now.) But the things God has been working in me to do could never have been accomplished in the “organized” church structure. Approached properly, the time of being home when others are congregated in a building is a time of introspection – self-examination that we would have truth in the inward parts – and meditating on the word of God unfiltered by the agendas and special interests of men.

    I would also submit that as we approach the end of the age and the persecution foretold by Jesus for his followers, we can benefit by looking at the examples of the great heroes of faith – specifically in Hebrews 11:36-38. These saints were definitely in a place of being alone, yet we are told “…these all…obtained a good report through faith.”

  5. Eunice Ann CarrEunice Ann Carr04-19-2009

    Spot on!..how I wish I’d read that years ago!..it would have saved a lot of heart and soul searching, doubt and self-recrimination. As a new Christian, I was a wet-ex, soaking up and IN all the scriptures as given from the denomination’s interpretation..which included all those scriptures which ‘hold us fast” to that particular denomination and church gathering. When God drew me out, the bewilderment that followed, along with all the above mentioned trauma, which included the dread of being ‘rebellious” and self-deceived,or “falling away” not to mention, “they went out from us,but they were not of us:for if they had been of us, they no doubt would have continued with us:but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us” 1John 2.19! All would go round and round in my mind,condemning me. As one does not meet others in similar situations whilst in the desert, the battle wages solo inside one, with the enemy knowing full well, which scriptures will conflict and confuse most, to hinder the Holy Spirit’s work of leading us “out from” and “into” His Fellowship.

    • PatPat03-30-2010

      I really liked what you said here about the battle wages solo inside one, and when you were talking about the scriptures and how they were used,and that which the enemy was trying to hinder that which the Holy Spirit was working to do for us.
      The one that I hear alot now is the one from Heb.10:25, but it comes thourgh other Christians, and in retalation,I come back at them with scripture, and I know that in me this is wrong, but I don’t know how else to approach this.
      Thank you writting that which you have written.

  6. Millie SpockMillie Spock04-19-2009

    This morning for the first time in many months I met with a couple that I used to regularly fellowship with and when I got home and read todays journal, ” No fellowship ? No problem ” It amazed me that we shared so many of the same thoughts that you expressed ! We spoke almost the same exact words about why many have such a strong need to meet with other Christians , “because they want to feel ” excepted ” and how the Lord desires to be our ” all and all ” with no other ” idols of fellowship or self gratification before us.. It is so true that the deeper we go into God the more unacceptable we will be to other Christians and I believe this is where we really begin to learn to love others as he has loved us .I wanted to share this little note to bring comfort and joy to your heart dear brother that you are not alone in what the Holy Spirit is revealing to His people. May the Lord continue to Bless the words He gives you to the hearts of the readers and all those who you share Christ with

  7. MidMid04-19-2009

    absolutely what I needed and just when I needed it most…isn’t that like our God?!!

  8. DoyleDoyle04-19-2009

    I live in Southlake near DFW. I find your comments about fellowship interesting and something i needed to hear. I am distraught with ‘church’ and want to be the Church. I facilitate a men’s bible study of 25 to 40 men each week and have lots of ministery opportunity from that.
    I thank God you are saying what you are.

  9. mary-ann weibymary-ann weiby04-19-2009

    wonderful article, and SO TRUE!! THANK YOU!

  10. SonjaSonja04-19-2009

    Thank you so much for writing this article. A few years ago, I felt God told me to leave the organized Church.However, after leaving I have struggled in all the way you have mentioned and feeling like maybe I didn’t hear God. Yet knowing in my heart that every church I have tried since I left my home church, I didn’t belong there. The devil had tried and tried to make me feel like I wasn’t even saved anymore because I am not part of a Local church. The desert has been a very hard and lonely place to be. You are so right, other Christian’s make you feel like you are such a sinner, you couldn’t possible have heard from God. But I know, after reading your letter that I am where God wants me to be, and I am doing what he wants me to do. I have been seeking God for conformation and I wish to thank you for your obedience in writing this article. You will never know how much it has blessed me and ministered to my heart. May God bless you for your faithfulness. Thank you again.

    • CyCy11-15-2009

      I disagree with this post. The word Christian is indeed a biblical term used to describe followers of Jesus Christ, and it was first used in Antioch by New Testament believers.

  11. susannesusanne04-20-2009

    hello sonja!

    You have exactly described what followed us, when left organized church!
    The devil tried to kill me, i had times where i can’t eat, sleep or pray…
    Condemnation abounds from spirits and christians and it was a long, hard journey to get things right and finally, God was faithful and my hubby and i have learned, what it is to BE with Jesus.
    I’m healed from many wounds and expectations, church people had put on us.
    So, Jesus is enough and we can go our way with Him, no matter, if it is lonely the rest of our life.
    We have a few friends on the net found, who are the same condition.
    Blessings to you, dear Sis
    Susi and Harry from Germany
    Feel free to e-mail us, if you want

  12. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden04-20-2009

    Thanks Sonja and Suzanne! I’m glad it was encouraging.

  13. CindyCindy09-16-2009

    Sonja, I just read your email regarding “No Fellowship, No Problem” and I am floored!!! Chip’s article and your response are confirmation for me from the Lord that I am where He wants me. I was just praying about this very issue this morning, feeling guilty and questioning if I’m even hearing God anymore! I left my home church about 5 years ago, tried going back just recently. It felt all wrong being there…My marriage just broke up, my husband of 26 years told me in January that he is gay and has been seeing someone for about a year…Anyway, I felt the Lord pulling me, really pulling me, to Himself and telling me that “it’s just me and Him”. I guess the enemy will do whatever he can to get us off track with our Savior. Thank you, dear sister, for the encouragement I’ve received from your words, and for knowing that you are out there; I don’t feel like such an “oddball”!!
    Love, Cindy

  14. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden04-20-2009

    Good hearing from you Millie! Thank you for your encouragement.

  15. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden04-20-2009

    It is a good idea Alan. I hadn’t thought about T-shirts but I had thought about coffee mugs since I drink so much coffee. We’ll keep it in mind!

  16. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden04-20-2009

    Great testimony Robert. See, I don’t whine and complain about being out of church anymore, I thank God for delivering us from it. Now the question is: what has He brought us out TO? And that is a lot more interesting that mulling over where we came FROM.

  17. RobertRobert04-20-2009

    Chip,
    As a P.S. to my other reply–I wanted to say that my wife and I listened to your CD teaching called “What is Wrong With the Church?“( I may have that title not exactly right.) Anyway–how that blessed us! That was after the SHOCK of hearing you say EVERYTHING the Lord Himself had told/shown us since taking us out of organized church 7 or so years ago. My wife was driving and I was working on my laptop… … she kept poking me in the side in AMAZEMENT at nearly every sentence, because we were already living it. That was 2 hrs of being poked in the side, Chip! We had 3 more hours of driving to reach our daughter in college at UNCW–and I was glad that my wife did not have more of your CDs to poke me over, haha. Even though we know that we know that we know, that the Lord has taken us out of organized church, there is that passage and warfare of people thinking and speaking condemnation toward those leaving the system–and it was like a barrel of anointed oil was poured over us in hearing your CDs. My summation was that either you and we were spot on right or spot on wrong–because it indeed was what our experience was with being called out of the church system! THANK YOU, thank you for that teaching and it will minister to MANY!
    The Word of God be with you Chip and be the delight of your family’s heart to your children’s children–and beyond.

  18. StephanieStephanie04-25-2009

    The truth is a bitter pill sometimes..but truth is truth. When the I.C. and those in it become our enemies..as they often do…unfortunatly..I have to find it within myself to love them. Not easy..and doesn’t stop the truth. It is because of the truth we are aleniated and I too was once “lost.”

  19. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden04-25-2009

    “‘The deeper you go into God the more unacceptable you will be to other Christians.’ Can you elaborate a bit on this?”

    I think Peg did a great job explaining it, but there is still a difficulty in the sense that everyone calls themselves “Christians” just because they believe in God and go to church. In this article I’m using the term “Christian” in a strictly institutional sense, meaning religious folk. The word “Christian” has become so fused together with religion I’m not sure it’s possible to describe myself as a “Christian” without people immediately connecting it with Organized Religion – because the very next question is, “What church do you go to?”

  20. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden04-25-2009

    Hi Tammy,

    Thank you for your perspective. I think I am writing more along the lines of people who are permanently called out of Organized Religion. I don’t see spiritual fellowship as a possibility within something that is carnal. But it is difficult to ascertain that while you still “belong.” The true test of the fellowship is whether or not it continues after you no longer attend services. The majority of people find that what they thought was true, spiritual, wonderful fellowship disintegrates once they stop attending. This proves that whatever fellowship they thought they had it was not based on Christ at all; it was, in fact, based on “church.”

  21. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden04-25-2009

    Lengthy posts tend to get edited or deleted, but there’s a lot of truth here and I thank you for sharing it.

  22. Janvier BillongJanvier Billong05-19-2009

    Hi Peg,

    You’re very wright in what you wrote the last time.Come to think of it, where did the name “christian”come from?Who invented this way of calling those who believe in Jesus christians.Did Jesus ever say “go & make the whole world my christians”? Infact christian is a name given to those who belong to the organised religion called christianity & the true believers of Jesus are called disciples just as He Himself commanded.If any one of us here continues to call him/her self christian,then it means there’s a bit of organised religion in him/her.Chip, I sujest that in your future posts, you should replace the word christian by disciple.Catholics,baptists,J.W., presbterians,pentecostals etc are all christians.Is there any difference between you & these people?Then we should bring the difference out & refute even their name. God bless you all.

  23. MarilynMarilyn05-01-2009

    It will be worth it ALL when we see Jesus! I am so encouraged by reading what you went through. Now I don’t feel so alone.
    Your friend in our beloved Jesus Christ!

  24. GinaGina05-27-2009

    Thank you Gloria,
    I was called out of the meeting house (church)a year ago and was wondering if I was hearing the Lord right. Why, when, what, how, and what are you doing Lord? I have lost friends and family. They don’t understand. It has been a wilderness journey but I would not give for the sweetness I have found with the Lord. I have had Bread from heaven. BUT there has been days that I wanted to have a megaphone and yell…is there any one out there?
    Gina

  25. Chip BrogdenChip Brogden10-23-2009

    That’s a tough one, Frank. It might be better to take this up in private by email. But yes it is common for one spouse to “see it” while the other doesn’t, and it’s going to take a lot of grace on your part. The short answer is if she wants to go to church then let her go to church. Don’t let religion destroy your marriage. As for what you should or should not be doing with “ministry” or anything else, that is between you and the Lord. But if you’re spending so much time on anything that your wife complains then you should take that complaint seriously as a cry for more time and affection from you. Whether she’s right or wrong is beside the point; the point is she needs something you aren’t providing and you better start providing it. Just take this as words of wisdom from someone who has been married 20 years now to the same patient woman.

  26. CyCy11-15-2009

    So true. If you leave the church/clique then you no longer exist, all “fellowship” dies. It wreaks of denominationalism or something worse. Churchianity. The so-called “christianity” of the people stops at the church doors, if it even makes it that far. Once you leave you never hear from them again, or if you do it’s only maybe once or twice more. That is NOT what FAMILY means to me.

  27. MartialMartial12-15-2009

    Its true. but I think the problem is that many people in organised church are not believers in heart but in appearance. but another real thing is that most are living in carnal ways but faith is spiritual.

  28. MartialMartial12-15-2009

    AMEN he is the one building HIS church

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