God wants to teach us how to love our enemies… I am still far from reaching all this, to what you explain…

I seek love, understanding, mutual aid, caring, justice, etc. And so I’m always unpleasantly surprised…

And my first reaction is still to respond and try to… put things (and people) “in order”; to set things right.

?. I do not like your reminder of what to expect… Well, ? I know…

Millie…..Amen, precious sister, and may God continue to bless you, and hold you in His mighty arms. “The beloved of the LORD shall dwell in safety by Him who shelters him all the day long, and he shall dwell between His shoulders.” (Deut. 33:12) – such amazing words of comfort for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, of which you are one. Bless you, sweetheart. 🙂

Thank you Joanne for your kind words. The Lord has let me know until I change my attitude and actions toward others, I still hold onto what self wants and I have not truly died to self until I can fully release the past, present and future to Him. I am so much better that I was a few years ago, but there is still some work to do on my part. I have come to realize we cannot change people, so the only thing left is for me to change by releasing self, more and more. God is an all or nothing God, and I am so grateful for His patience, love and mercy. Thank you again for you response, I hope you have a great week ahead.

Dear Beloved Sherry,

You are absolutely correct that our expectations of others must die. We do the right thing because it’s what God wants, not because we want the approval and acceptance of others.

However, I don’t want to go off-topic in this discussion. While forgiveness is an important doctrine of Christianity, (and in my opinion, one that may be misunderstood), Chip’s focus is for today is on the believer’s death to self. Chip’s statement, “…shut your mouth, go to the Cross, and die so you can live.” is shocking, and it made me smile. It reminded me of the radio show promo for Dr. Laura: ” Like alcohol on a freshly-shaved face!”. 😉 But these words are the antidote we need for the poison we’ve been fed for so many years. We’ve had our ears tickled, and our self-esteem coddled. Today, let’s turn our attention to the work that needs to be done in us. When we are mistreated, let us not delay, whine or complain about the offense, but immediately run to the Cross and ask God to change us and work out His plan in us. It is a paradox that the offended must do the changing, but it’s God’s way and it is good!

I’m not insensitive to the heartaches anyone here has endured or is currently going through. This is very hard stuff! Like others who have gravitated to TSOC, I could fill pages and pages with my own experiences. 🙂 Satan would prefer that we look at what we’re giving up (pride?) when we approach the Cross, and grieve for our loss. Let’s remember that Jesus willing went to the Cross for the JOY that was set before Him. (Hebrews 12:2) That’s our hope as well! God has made an unequal bargain with us: our sin for His glory and joy. “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

May our hearts be knit together in love, and may we know the riches of God in Christ Jesus!

Joanne,

Yes, we are to kiss the hand of our attackers. What is so difficult is when we continue to love the unlovable and those that have hurt us with a forgiveness that helps us to forget our hurts and abusers, to see that our attackers do not change toward us or others, and we wonder what’s the use, I’m not seeing results. This dying to self and forgiving without expecting change in the one or ones we are forgiving is where the challenge is very difficult. But we can change ourselves to accept what we cannot change. We die to expectations of others, no matter how hard. I myself am still learning this. The man at the pulpit where I attended church is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and His fruits of hate has been made known to many, but the other leaders are afraid of to much discord to get rid of him and they still allow him to hurt people without a conscience. Myself and my family are still trying to recover from this evil one, we have had to accept what we cannot change and move forward. All we can do is ask forgiveness for our reactions and to seek forgiveness for him and others. Jesus asked God as He was on the cross of suffering, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”. This is my prayer to those that choose to hurt without remorse. In most cases there may not be repentance of the one who sins against us, because they don’t see their sin for what it is, so its up to us to forgive and love anyway and try to put all things behind us, that’s not of Christ, and to be Light in the midst of darkness no matter how tired we get. Like you said, His yoke is easy and not burdensome.

Thanks so much for the words of confirmation and encouragement for what many of us are enduring. It’s disconcerting when these things happen. Perhaps we’ve been too influenced by the lies of contemporary Christianity for an easy life? We are told to cast off wrath and not be bitter toward those who offend and harm us, leaving room for their repentance. Not easy, but certainly necessary! The only reason it’s not easy is because our flesh is resisting, actually going to war against, the Spirit of God in us. Jesus offers to exchange our hard yoke and heavy burden for His easy yoke and light burden. Paradoxically, that exchange takes place at the Cross where we die to self. Praying that I will learn to “die better” every day.

I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here but want to say with my whole heart that there is a difference between testing and abuse. I will say I’ve been where you’ve been and understand exactly what you are saying. I’d love to see your husband get some counseling from a Godly man who understands the situation, not someone who just goes by the book. God bless you and I will be praying for you. I think in your heart you know what you need to do. Living a pressed down life isn’t good. God wants you to flourish. Nothing’s easy though, but right will always lead to life. Wrong leads to death.