We cannot expect to have a single mountaintop experience with the Lord and then assume from henceforth the work of the Cross is completed in us.
After many attempts and failures we at last realize we cannot, so we throw ourselves on the mercy of God and trust Him to do what we cannot do.
The Kingdom may be near, at hand, at the door, even within; but it has not come in its fullness until the King Himself returns. This is the sense in which Jesus calls upon us to watch and pray for the Kingdom to come.
If we have to die in order to truly live, let us be about the business of dying! If we must be crucified in order to have Resurrection Life, then let us just submit to it and get it over with!
The more we look at creation the easier it is to believe that there is Someone with infinite wisdom Who designed everything with purposeful intention according to a definite order and arrangement.