But when it comes to giving grace, grace doesn’t seem so amazing anymore. It’s hard to show amazing grace to others. Receiving it is easy; giving it is hard. When I need grace I see an amazing abundance of grace, a never-ending supply of it; when I am expected to show a little grace to others it’s like pulling teeth. “Grace for me, but not for thee!” I wonder why that is?
I am convinced that God has no problem with how He shows grace to those who don’t deserve it. In fact, that is what grace is for. Grace is for the people who don’t deserve it, which means you can’t earn the grace, or it’s not grace. Those who deserve it the least are the ones who need it the most. Part of God’s character is to show grace to people who need it and don’t deserve it. Well, who doesn’t deserve it? And who needs it? Everybody! Not just those really bad people out there in the world, but you and I need grace as well.
We are the ones who have a problem with grace – mostly because it sounds too good to be true. Usually if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. In the case of God’s grace, even if it sounds too good to be true, it actually is true, because His goodness and His omni-benevolence is unsurpassed, insurmountable. More than we can imagine. Truly amazing. Not just for us, but for everybody.
And that causes problems. Let’s see what the Scriptures have to say about it.
Jonah Had a Problem With Grace
God sent Jonah to Nineveh, and after running away and sailing in the opposite direction and being swallowed by a whale, Jonah finally went to Nineveh and preached to them. The Ninevites had repented, and so God said, “Because they changed their ways, I’m not going to destroy them.”
But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. So he prayed to the LORD, and said, “Ah, LORD, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm. Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live!” Then the LORD said, “Is it right for you to be angry?” Jon. 4:1-4
Jonah was displeased exceedingly and became angry. What is anger? Have you ever thought about what anger is? Anger is an emotion triggered by frustration when a goal is blocked. When we feel that someone or something is blocking a goal of ours, this creates frustration and anger. Have you ever been in a hurry to get from point A to point B? The more rushed you are, the more likely it seems that everybody and everything wants to slow you down and get in your way. Maybe you get impatient, frustrated, angry. Why? Because there is a goal you’re trying to achieve, and someone is getting in the way of that goal. So, check yourself out. When you feel anger rising up, ask yourself, where’s the frustration? What’s my goal, and who is blocking it? Who is getting in the way of my goal here? And then reframe that whole situation. You might need help to do that. It’s not an easy thing to do, especially when you’re angry.
Well, let’s apply this to Jonah. See, Jonah’s goal for Nineveh was not repentance. Jonah’s goal for Nineveh was destruction. He wanted God to pour out His wrath on the wicked. Jonah would have loved for God to destroy those sinners! But they repented. And God says, “Since they repented, I’m not going to destroy them.” Now it says that Jonah was displeased exceedingly, and he became angry. Why? Because he was frustrated. Someone was blocking his goal, preventing him from accomplishing what he wanted to see accomplished. God was blocking Jonah’s goal!
Why? Because “God resists the proud…” (1 Pet. 5:5). It wasn’t the devil getting in the way, it was Jonah getting in the way, and Scripture says that God resists the proud. You can chisel that on granite, install it someplace, and look at it every day if it helps you. God resists the proud. He just does. It’s a spiritual law. It’s deeper than a principle, it is a law. A principle says that most of the time, this is what you can expect. A law says every time, this is what you can expect. Here is a spiritual law: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
God gave grace to the wicked Ninevites because they humbled themselves! He resisted Jonah because Jonah was full of pride! And the pride was revealed in Jonah’s anger and the displeasure that Jonah expressed when God blocked Jonah’s goal of destruction. When people block our goal, we get mad at people. When God blocks our goal, we get mad at God. Frustrated. Angry.
Now Jonah is letting all that anger out, and it turns out Jonah has been ruminating on this all along, from the very beginning. He says, “Was this not what I said when I was still in my country? And this is why I wanted to flee to Tarshish. This is why I didn’t want this job to start with!” He’s been ruminating on this the whole time! Jonah is doing all these calculations in his mind. It’s incredible! He knew God was gracious, merciful, slow to anger, abundant in loving-kindness, Who relents from doing harm. So Jonah says, “I know God so well that I know if I go and I preach to the Ninevites they’re liable to repent, and God is liable to forgive them and not destroy them. I don’t want that. I want to see my enemies destroyed. I’m taking the King David approach. Destroy my enemies, Lord! Rise up and destroy those who come against me!”
And that was Jonah’s attitude as well. At least he’s honest, I’ll give him that. And he’s probably the one who wrote this book, I’ll give him that much as well. To be able to write a tell-all book about your shortcomings takes some humility and courage.
But in that moment Jonah had a problem with grace. And the problem with grace, again, was not receiving the grace, but giving the grace. Jonah had no problem receiving amazing grace when God saved him from the belly of the great fish. But now God was giving that same amazing grace to those Jonah decided were undeserving, compared to him. Now it’s not so amazing anymore, it’s frustrating.
Here are some other translations of Jonah 4:4.
New King James Version says, “Is it right for you to be angry?” I love how God just lets this whole thing go. You know, Jonah’s going on a rant, he’s really whipping himself into a frustrated frenzy here, angry exclamations and all. God just silently listens to it all, and then asks him one question: “Is it right for you to be angry?”
New Living Translation says, “Is it right for you to be angry about this?” New American Standard says, “Do you have a good reason to be angry?” Young’s Literal Translation says, “Is doing good displeasing to thee?”
You get the gist. Is it right for you to be angry? Is your anger justified? God is trying to get Jonah to step outside of himself and consider himself from a higher dimension. “Where’s this anger coming from, Jonah? What are you so angry about? Why are you so mad? Yeah, you’re right. I am gracious, and I am merciful. I am slow to anger and abundant in loving-kindness. I do relent from doing harm, because doing harm is not My nature. You have that much right. But is it right for you to be angry because I am good? Is it right for you to be angry because I’m showing amazing grace to people you think don’t deserve it?”
And you know, with Jonah, it’s all or nothing. “Take my life for me, it’s better for me to die than to live!” I mean, there is no middle ground for Jonah. It’s gotta be my way or no way at all. He is in a real state! “Take my life, Lord. Life isn’t worth living. Because I can’t get You to do what I want You to do!”
Is it right for you to be angry?
The Older Brother Had a Problem With Grace
You think, “That Jonah! He’s really a character, isn’t he?”
Well, he is. But this is a common problem. This is not the only time in Scripture where someone had a problem with amazing grace.
Jesus illustrates this with the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. You know the story. The young son wants the father’s inheritance in advance, and he goes and wastes it in a foreign land. Then he wakes up in a pig pen and realizes that he has made a terrible mistake, so he says, “I’m going to return to my father!” And so he does, and the father rejoices.
Now, if the story had stopped there, it still would have been a wonderful parable of grace and forgiveness. The son rebels, has an awakening, realizes he’s made a mistake, and goes back to his father. Instead of being condemned, his father receives him, loves him, forgives him, and they have a celebration. That, by itself, would be a great story. Wow, what a terrific parable about the amazing grace and the love of God!
But that isn’t the only thing Jesus wants to communicate here; and so, as Paul Harvey would say, here’s the rest of the story. (And you can almost see the people listening to Jesus – they’re applauding, and they think they all lived happily ever after, The End. No! They didn’t!)
We’ve still got more to the story here. And this changes the whole lesson.
“Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’ But he was angry and would not go in…” (Lk. 15:25-28)
Here’s this anger again! What are we so angry about?
Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’ ” (Lk. 15:28-32)
His father did not go into an in-depth explanation, justification, or rationale for why it was a good thing that they celebrated his brother’s safe return. He didn’t dwell on all the things that made his older son angry. He just said, “It’s the right thing to do, and that’s why I did it. I forgave him. I loved him. I welcomed him back. He’s my son. So are you, and I would do the same for you as well.”
As I say, this is a common problem. The elder brother was the “good son,” who saw himself more worthy than the “bad son.” He probably resents his brother. But worse – now he resents his father! Why? Because his father received his brother back as if he had done nothing wrong. In other words, the father freely forgave and showed amazing grace. He didn’t say anything about his son needing to pay anything back. He just received him and loved him.
The whole story is a lesson of grace, but what follows after is the problem of grace. The problem of grace always shows up after the grace has been given, and the problem is always with the people who think the grace is undeserved. The problem is not between the father and his younger son, and really not so much between the two brothers; the problem is really between the older son and his father. Because the older son didn’t understand grace.
Now, in his calculation, his father owed him more and owed his brother nothing. See? That’s what people who don’t understand grace do. They calculate. They keep records. And in the asset column, they add up all the reasons why God is really pleased with them, why they are deserving of God’s blessing. In the liability column, they add up all the reasons why someone else is not deserving of grace. So, the older son is doing these calculations in his mind, as humans do. In his calculation, in his method of moral accounting, his father owed him more than he was getting and should have given his brother nothing. According to his calculation, that’s not fair. That’s not right.
In other words, he has a problem with grace. Maybe a little bit of resentment and jealousy of his brother; but it really has to do with resentment and anger and frustration with his father. You’re not even going to discipline him? You’re not going to correct him? You’re not going to scold him? You’re not going to make him work to pay it off?
Now, who is Jesus directing the parable to? He is directing it to the Pharisees. He is directing it to the religious people who think that God owes them because they’re working so hard for God. We are servants of the Lord, and we’re working so hard for the Lord, and so the Lord owes us something, but God doesn’t owe the world anything. The idea that God would actually show grace to all? We say that’s not fair!
It’s a common problem. But this idea of how we think God should behave towards whom is illustrated in another parable of Jesus…
The Workers in the Vineyard Had a Problem With Grace
Matthew chapter 20, verse 1: “For the Kingdom of Heaven is like…” See, this isn’t just a random story, this is what the kingdom of heaven is like. This is reality, today. The spiritual reality that you and I are living in looks just like this, Jesus says. And so it is applicable to you, and to me, and to all of us.
“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. Now when he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And he went out about the third hour and saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you.’ So they went. Again he went out about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did likewise. And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing idle, and said to them, ‘Why have you been standing here idle all day?’ They said to him, ‘Because no one hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right you will receive.’ So when evening had come, the owner of the vineyard said to his steward, ‘Call the laborers and give them their wages, beginning with the last to the first.’ And when those came who were hired about the eleventh hour, they each received a denarius. But when the first came, they supposed that they would receive more; and they likewise received each a denarius. And when they had received it, they complained against the landowner, saying, ‘These last men have worked only one hour, and you made them equal to us who have borne the burden and the heat of the day.’ But he answered one of them and said, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what is yours and go your way. I wish to give to this last man the same as to you. Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with my own things? Or is your eye evil because I am good?’ So the last will be first, and the first last. For many are called, but few chosen.” (Mt. 20:1-16)
The eleventh hour is 5 p.m. The twelfth hour would be 6 p.m., and that’s when they stop working. So the owner went out at 9 a.m. and hired people to work all day for a day’s wages. He goes out again at noon and hires people willing to work for any amount. He went out at 3 p.m., when the day is mostly gone, and does the same. Now he goes out at 5 p.m., only an hour before quitting time, and does the same.
But just to make it interesting, and just to prove a point, when 6:00 o’clock comes and it’s time to pay the workers, the owner says, “Start with the last, and work your way to the first.” Because the point would have been completely missed if he had paid the first people first, and they got their check, and they went home, and they missed what happens next. So he says (on purpose), “Let’s do it this way. Pay the last people first, because I want to see how the first people react. I want to see the look on their faces. Call the laborers, give them their wages, beginning with the last to the first.”
And when those came who were hired about the eleventh hour, they each received a denarius. A denarius is a day’s wage. A day’s wage for an hour’s work! That’s amazing! But when the first came, they supposed that they would receive more – but he paid them the same amount! So now they complained against the landowner! Again, the workers who labored all day did their bookkeeping. They did their accounting and their calculations. And according to their numbers, they deserved more compared to the ones who only worked an hour. So again, their frustration is, “This isn’t fair!”
What do you mean, it’s not fair? Didn’t you agree to give a day’s work for a day’s wage? What’s not fair about it? “It’s not fair that you’ve made these people equal to us. You’re paying them the same thing that you paid us, and they only worked an hour! Some worked three hours. Some worked six hours. We worked all day long! It’s not fair!”
And I have literally received that very objection to the idea – just the idea, mind you, just the possibility – that God will save all in Christ, as Scripture says that He will. “Well, that’s not fair! If God’s going to save everybody in the end, what’s the use of being good? Where’s the motivation to be good? What are you saying? That I should be bad, because it doesn’t make any difference?” No, I don’t think that’s what Scripture is teaching at all. Is that the conclusion you’re coming to? So it all has to do with bookkeeping, it all has to do with accounting and calculations? About what God owes you?
The owner basically says, “I’m not cheating you just because I’m doing good for all. Don’t I have the right to do what I wish with my amazing grace?”
This is a common problem. Once again, here is that quiet question…
“Why is your eye evil because I am good? Why is your eye evil because I want to make everyone equal in the end? And if I do want to save them all in Christ in the end, what is that to you, so long as you are saved? Why is it so important that for you to be saved others have to be damned? Why is it that for you to feel good about your salvation, someone else has to go to hell? Why is your eye evil because I am good?”
Why is that, indeed? Now, if God does save them all, of course, they all have to repent, they all have to be saved through Christ. We’re not saying there are multiple ways to heaven; there is only one way to the Father, through Jesus Christ. But God says that His purpose and will is “to gather together in one all in Christ: things in heaven and things on earth, even in Him” (Eph. 1:10). And Jesus says, “If I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to Myself” (Jn. 12:32). Now, you can interpret that different ways; but if (according to your calculation) you think that’s not fair to all the good people, the question is: Why do other people have to lose in order for you to win? Why do other people have to go to hell in order for you to go to heaven? Why is your eye evil because I am good?
Jonah was angry with God. The older son was angry with his father. The laborers were angry with their Master. And we get angry with God. Is it right for you to be angry because God is good?
Fixing Our Problem With Grace
There’s a thought I want you to sit with for a minute. When people say that “God moves in mysterious ways,” I don’t believe that is true.
God does not move in mysterious ways.
God moves in ways that contradict
our immature understanding of Him,
and we find that mysteriously frustrating.
I think this helps to explain a lot. Jonah was angry at God. The elder son was angry with his father. The laborers were angry with the owner of the vineyard. Do you see a pattern here? God doesn’t move in mysterious ways; He moves in ways that contradict our immature understanding of Him. And we find that mysteriously frustrating. And that frustration manifests as anger, upset, disappointment, disillusion, and depression. God moves in ways that contradict our imperfect knowledge, our immature understanding, of who He is. That’s what makes us frustrated. That’s why we don’t understand. That’s why we have a problem with grace.
Now, in those times of frustration and not understanding, we might try to understand God’s ways, why He behaves thus. Right? But to understand His ways, you must understand Him. And that’s what we are missing.
To understand His ways, you must understand Him. To know Him is to know why He behaves thus. See, if you really knew God, you would know why He didn’t destroy the Ninevites when they repented. If you knew the father of the prodigal son (or if you had children of your own) you would understand why he must receive his son back again. He has no choice but to show him love, and mercy, and forgiveness. Not just once, not just seven times, but seventy times seven, and as often as necessary.
If you understood the owner of the vineyard, you would understand why he wants to make everyone equal in the end, why he wants to be generous with his pay, and why he does everything on purpose to prove a point and see how people react.
But the problem is that we try to understand the ways and the behavior when we don’t understand the person. That’s why we don’t understand what the person is doing. We’re trying to understand God’s ways. Why does He behave this and so? Why does He say thus and so? But to know Him is to know why He behaves the way He does and why He does the things He does. If you want to be acquainted with His ways, you have to be acquainted with Him. So when you say, “I don’t know why God would do that,” what you’re really saying is, “I don’t know God as He is.” If you knew God, you would know why. When you know God, all of those other questions are resolved. Once you know Him, you know why He does the things that He does.
Here’s what happens in life. Circumstances reveal the gap between what we think and Who we know. Between theory and reality. We realize that God is not Who we think He is; He is Who He is. And if something has to change, it’s not going to be God, as though He is going to change His character, or His nature, or His Word, to suit my immature understanding of Him. He will not be adjusted to me, but I must be adjusted to him. The circumstances of life are just there to reveal the gap, the chasm, the space, between what we think and Who we know.
Sometimes that gap is really, really wide. Really big. You think God is a certain way, and then something happens; and then, like Jonah, you get frustrated and mad. You see a demonstration of God’s grace, and instead of rejoicing, you get angry about it. You argue against it! You find fault with it. And you get mad at God. “I don’t know why God would let the Ninevites off the hook that easy. I don’t know why the father would let that no-good brother come back home and then throw a party for him. I don’t understand why the owner of the vineyard wants to make everybody equal and pay them all the same thing. It’s crazy! It doesn’t make any sense! It’s not fair!”
These circumstances reveal how large the gap is between what we think we know and Who we really know, between our theories about God and the reality of Who God is. Then we can bridge that gap with a new understanding and appreciation for Who God really is. That would solve the problem of grace.
Now, it also does something else. Impatience comes from trying to understand why, rather than understanding WHO. You get impatient trying to figure out WHY. The question is not WHY, the question is WHO? Who is God? Not why bad things happen to good people, or why good things happen to bad people. The question is: Who is God? What is His nature? What is His character? What is He trying to accomplish in all of these things?
In the end, “WHY” questions may never be answered. But they are not as important as we think they are. The important question is this: When God allows things we don’t like, or when God does things we don’t understand, is it right for us to be angry? Is our frustration legitimate? It’s understandable; but is it legitimate? Is our eye evil because His amazing grace is too amazing?
At the end of the day, to find fault with His ways is to find fault with Him. In reality, the fault is not with Him, of course; the fault is with us. The problem of grace is not God’s problem, but our problem. But here’s the encouragement: even in this sorry state of anger, God’s grace can turn this into a teachable moment for all of us. Just as God’s grace did for Jonah.
This article is based on an in-depth audio teaching. Listen here »
